Prodigal Daughter

The Isreallites were constantly urged to remember all that God had done for them. I have been on a remembering journey lately. Tonight the Lord’s peace descended over me and I felt him leading me back to a particular memory. As I basked in the peace that filled me, I began to recall something that happened shortly after I had arrived at Regent University. It had been over a year since I had made the turn and come back to the Lord, but I was completely unable to feel his presence or sense his nearness. My heart and spirit felt dead and lifeless. At Regent, I would constantly talk to my new friends about how I used to be very close to the Lord. I had been searching for that closeness with the Lord for over a year, only to feel a great chasm that could not be crossed. I was constantly looking back at what I had lost. Eventually a very real fear began to seize my heart. What if I had gone to far? What if I was an "apostate?" since I had "tasted of the heavenly gift" o

Come To Me Now I want to share with you my testimony. This is a story of my weakness, and God’s strength. I feel the need to get my story on paper, to have it available to others who are struggling to obey the Lord. I want to tell this story while I still have the chance, for in reality, it is not my story. This story is the story of God’s love and God’s power. I pray that it will find its way to those who need to hear it the most. My story will not appeal to the one who feels strong in himself. He may frown upon this testimony because of the depth of my weakness. I would have felt the same way had I not fallen to the depths that I did-and discovered that it is truly by grace that I stand. The other type of individual who will not benefit from this story is the one who is not concerned about knowing God, or the one who may be seeking an excuse for his sin. But honestly, I am not concerned about the first two. Someone else may have a testimony for you, but it is not me.

"Where sin abounds, grace does much more abound." There is something about us humans that makes us believe that God does not want to give us second chances. But I am learning that while God made us in His image, He is nothing like us. We tire easily and lose patience with others who continue to do wrong,but not God. God is love, and love "suffers long". I learned this in a very personal way many times over in my life. I love much, because I am forgiven much - much more than I will ever know. Yet what I do know is enough to fuel the fire of my love and devotion to God. Apart from God's power, we are weak, prone to failure. We say that we trust in Christ, but when we fail, our sense of shame and condemnation reveals the truth. In Genesis 1 we see the results of disobedience. Failure leads to shame, which leads to fear, which leads to hiding from the One that we need the most, our Heavenly Father. Fast forward to Romans 8 and we see that in Jesus Christ, there